summer summer

New beach in Chiba - Onjuku is like fine light pastry to a greasy kebab. Located about 2 hours from Tokyo station and accesible by local trains. I januntily sat my way through the rickety ride to arrive in a place decorated by palm trees - a good start...Eventually locating the beach after a few inquiries in the local Supa i spent a blissful few hours sleeping on the white sand and frolicking butoh like in the water. 

No campjo but a lot more randomness...not only that but it is featured in a highly recommended jdrama - Hero. You can tell from the unusual statues of camels I met some lovely people who ended up driving me round.

CREATIVE BLOCK
In the meantime I can't paint. This is frustrating me as I am going to see numerous exhibitons and helping the children at school and I feel doused in color - throbbing reds, shy mauves, optimistic oranges I can feel them but when it comes to starting on my bird painting again I come to a complete panicky standtill.. I must just start, or rather stop avoiding, make a date, pick up that brush, I know I want to...

video

I found this video on you tube, reminded me a bit of Bjorks one for All in full of love, at least in its asethetics.

 In a nutshell all change.

Its so easy to fill up every conceivable space in the diary without asking what the priorities are. Heading to my new place on a Monday night I have already seen lots of the homeless people from Ueno park getting ready at the entrances of the station. I question my own relationship to this, am i feeling guilty? is it empathy? who know but I am very grateful for a roof over my head and food on the table. I wonder sometimes if having all the added extras just makes us forget the basic things that keep us together. There is something very nice , for example about eating with people in a sociable way. Are those homeless people in some strange way living a better life. Im not tryig to suggest its a confortable one but are people who count their blessings for food and shelter somehow more aware?

Reading more of Ecclesiastes after its mention at church I am quite surprised at how relevant it seems today. Here is this guy who has it all and hes still not happy. Perhaps the lives of Brittany Spears and other rich celbrities bear a poignant testimony to that.
I have also learnt why people work so hard to suceed, it is because they envy there neighbours. But it is useless. It is like chasing the wind. ..It is better to have only a little, with peace of mind than to be busy all the time with both hands, trying to catch the wind (Ecclesiastes4: 4,6)
Don`t get me wrong I think its great to be motivated and an active member of whatever you are into but its all about the motivations. Why ? Whats behind it all. If its love great but if is to run away from a feeling of emptiness or to try and prove just how loveable/special/sexy/generally great you are wheres that going to get you...? This is to me too! Am I chasing after the wind?


On a related level (maybe) I have started a fascinating book about Japanese culture. Here are a few of the concepts that really intrugued me

Dotuku - THE WAY
from a book called Analectic 4*8
In the morning hear The Way; in the evening die without regrets

I am also still trying to figure out how the idea of Makoto or sincerity fits with the private /public face.

Other interesting concepts are Tsumi - this is a little similar to sin. Active conditions that debase or obstruct the development of life


Yamato damashii - or unque japanese spirit
Wakon yo sai - Japanese spirit /Western knowledge

Hanami hanami, spring the season of outdoor parties and cherry blossoms. For me this year`s hanami celebrations were low key but nice. Sangenjaya to Higashimatsubara the moon peeped out from behind one of those blue edged night clouds shining like neon on metal. Somehow the moon remains very mysterious and calming.

Now most of the blossoms are looking a bit brown or have already been blown off the trees and floated away giving the surreal appearance of snow in April. If you actually have time to be reflective in this city the cherry blossoms capture the essence of a Japanese wistfulness and impossible longing that is summed up in the tales of Genji (Japanese romantic stories about a prince). Somehow everything passes, always, and yet the memory remains. Perhaps the memory of a baby pink tenderness. The Japanese concept of Inochi which is roughly equivalent to life is an interesting concept in relation to what continues on ...

I went to a poetry reading/music night last week in aid of awareness of plans for nuclear power to be used in japan. Considering Hiroshima and Nagasaki this seems like it would be a consideration for people here but I was told people aren`t aware. The event took place ina converted high school which is now the base for a design school see this link

 One of the leaflets on the table outside really moved me. It was a fictional letter written from a child of the future explaining the outcome of the current situation and asking us to make changes now, for their sake. One of my students yesterday told me she is going to make her own soap, baby steps as Bill Murray would say in what about Bob?

baby stepping baby stepping

I arrived in London in February tired, jet lagged disorientated, dragged my industrial suitcase to the information desk to ask where the national express coach left from. I asked, in what I hoped was a suitabley polite voice. The information service woman vaguely waved in a direction I couldn`t quite discern but I confidently headed off, only to find after 10 minutes that these were local buses.

 The service in Japan in impecible and even if the politeness is insincere does have a certain smoothness to it which oils the wheels of daily living.


  walked barefoot for two hours at e silver sand.







A few nights ago a friend of mine had formulated an outline of his experiences in Tokyo. It is safe, convenient and efficient but are these things always good? If you can get away with never having to interact beyond your comfort zones, where children go home and play on video games not socializing and when business men jump infront of trains up to 70 per day. I sometimes feel living here is like being in a relationship which could go either way, I`m over the honeymoon period and see it a bit more for what it is but I am still fascinated.

Yesterday I went to watch a hojo (Japanese swordmanship) demonstration. It was meant to be against a background of beautiful sakura (Japanese cherry blossoms) but the gale like rain forced us into the dojo. Here the two sensei`s demonstrated the art of control and expression as they went through routines for all the seasons. It was mesmerizing watching these two men circling moving slowly, breathing, bowing, locking swords. Later they seemed jovial and childlike as if embodying a kind of zen humour. While Japanese politeness can mean as a Westerner it can be hard to know where you stand there is a quietness of spirit and humilty which is inherent in everything. Perhaps it is the Bushido spirit, a gentle but firm dignity which is always somehow present.

Later, watching a documenatary about Cuba - Hasta Simpre i thought again about freedom and community. For many people The Revolution meant a society which has access to free education and healthcare where communties know each other. US sanctions are encouraging people to find alternative sources of income via tourism and offhsoots such as the black market and prostitution. There is a restriction of movement and speech. For some the alterbative to Castro is one of capitalism and a breakdown of community as the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. It begs the question what is freedom? If Capitalism is a form of oppression then what is the viable alternative? I found it yesterday in this quiet community. There was a mutual respect - for silence and the need for it, for peoples differences and abilities.

This presentness and willingness not to find easy quick answers but to be with things is something that I admire and want more of in my life. I found two things I would like to share with you...

Mamamia Love bear with it shes great :)

ON LETTING GO

I also read a quote by Henri Nouwen which I would like to quote at some length for times when things are painful....

The great challenge is living your wounds through instead of thinking them through. It is better to cry than to worry, better to feel your wounds deeply than to understand them, better to let them enter into your silence than to talk about them. The choice you face constantly is whether you are taking your hurts to your head or to your heart. In your head you can analyze them, find their causes and consequences, and coin words to speak and write about them. But no final healing is likely to come from that source. You need to let your wounds go down into your heart. Then you can live them through and discover that they will not destroy you. Your heart is greater than your wounds.

Understanding your wounds can only be healing when that understanding is put at the service of your heart. Going to your heart with your wounds is not easy; it demands letting go of many questions. You want to know "Why was I wounded? When? How? By whom?" You believe that the answers to these questions will bring relief. But at best they only offer you a little distance from your pain. You have to let go of the need to stay in control of your pain and trust in the healing power of your heart. There your hurts can find a safe place to be received, and once they have been received, they lose their power to inflict damage and become fruitful soil for new life.

Think of each wound as you would of a child who has been hurt by a friend. As long as that child is ranting and raving, trying to get back at the friend, one wound leads to another. But when the child can experience the consoling embrace of a parent, she or he can live through the pain, return to the friend, forgive, and build up a new relationship. Be gentle with yourself, and let your heart be your loving parent as you live your wounds through.

Yuki Matsuri was worth a visit but a tad disappointing as far as over corporate sponsorship and issues with the warmth (only -4).

so before my days of online quizzes are over to summarize;I am;

You Are Elmo

Sweet and innocent, you expect everyone to adore you. And they usually do! You are usually feeling: Talkative. You've got tons of stories to tell. And when you aren't talking, you're laughing. You are famous for: Being popular, though no one knows why. Middle aged women especially like you. How you life your life: With an open heart. "Elmo loves you!"

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

I am also an E(Extrovert) N (intuitive) F(Feeling) P(Perception) person, I am most like Vince Noir from The Mighty Boosh, I have an IQ (apparently) of 127, My life prorities are in this order my pride(?) family love career and money (aka the Dalai Lama) and I am 70% Supergirl.

Ah the joys of the internet! Some recommended more mind feeding reads are William Boyd`s Any human heart, Alex Garland`s Coma and a lovely little book by fellisio - sun and shade, part of their zen meditation selections. Also a lovely new sight showcasing and selling work of new Japan based designers www.tokyomade.com.

Yesterday Yokohama`s China town was bustling with street stalls and human dragons. I was quite amused to find the top Chinese Nikuman makers based in numerous locations throughout the streets. I also really recommend the magical mask changing show at the Chinatown Museum, I figured out he might have a fake arm but he still managed to change his masks at an amazing speed.
more pics of China (real) and other fun coming up...

free hugs

yesterday I saw a woman in purple leopard skin prints over pink hot pants, I saw little miss sunshine (great film) I saw the light reflecting golden in the side of skyscrapers at 4pm. Today , so far I have had a banana ,milkshake and watched youtube - there is a video titled free hugs which features a man who held up a sign Dylan style saying `free hugs` in Pitt Street Mall for 2 years. The police stopped him and the council wrote a law to stop him saying he was a liability (potential risk of accident and subsequent suing)...

I also read about the Psalters a Christian nomadic band who play all kinds of interesting instruments and live on a bus, they identify with the dienfranchised and are livinga lifestyle of community and simplicity. http://www.psalters.com/Home.html

What is community now? people who share our interests?　In little Miss Sunshine the family are not exactly harmogenous - a heroin snorting porn obsessed old man who is a wonderful grandpa, a failed and disgraced academic whose gay love for his student has given him nothing but pain, a fragile motivational speaker whose belief in winning through sheer determination is shattered, a working mother trying her best for her family, an angst ridden teenager who doesn`t speak because of Nietzche and the 7 year old Olive who is longing to win the beauty contest but whose naturalness and curiosity don`t fit with that particular world. These are not a cozy family but one whose differences bring them together.